Jargon prayer

“Our Ultimate Stakeholder, who art an avatar in cyberspace,
a big respect from the brothers.
In the long-term scenario your sphere of influence will take over big time.
Your mission statement will be expedited pan-globally,
as it is off-planet.
As of this moment in time, further our basic human rights by facilitating our minimal calorific requirement 24/7.
Additionally, enrol us on a restorative justice programme as and when appropriate,
as we move on and achieve closure on our issues.
Keep us from the major issues and don’t drag us into negative scenarios.
You are the celebrity stakeholder,
with absolute executive options and A list status, foreseeably.

By Frances Farrer, The Oxford Writer, Number 47, November 2008.