My week off, by Youthblog bloke

diymag.jpgI’m having a week off this week. It’s a chance to get my head together, have a little R&R with the family and catch up with some jobs around the house. The first two days have been dominated by DIY, specifically (and frustratingly) one job!
On my list there was one job that was one of those “quick wins” and would involve (or so I thought) half an hour of fettling then the chance to satisfyingly cross it off the list. However, never work with Children, animals or cupboard doors!
My list said, “Re-hang airing cupboard sliding doors!” (they kept jamming)
No problem, just whip off the doors, adjust the wheel mounts, apply a dab of grease, re-hang and all done!
However, this is progress to date:
1. Remove doors, adjust and re-hang but find they still don’t work
2. Remove doors again, adjust, rehang, test and they still don’t work
3. Remove doors, remove wheel mounts, relocate, re-hang and find they still don’t work
4. Several more attempts before realising that the track the wheels run on was beyond repair and the actual source of the problem!
5. Remove all the tracking, then go and buy hinges to convert airing cupboard to conventionally hinged doors.
6. Realise that the doors are designed to overlap and thus hinging them will mean they cannot close, doh!
7. Locate smaller doors, fit with hinges, NICE! However as they do not meet in the middle I need to find a piece of wood EXACTLY 6.5 inches in width that will fill gap.
8. Go to builders merchants, obviously I cannot find a piece of wood that size so spend an hour planing a piece to the correct width! Clear up insane amounts of wood shavings, discover than my planing is not all that even, doh!
9. Fit the piece of wood between the doors
10. As the doors I now have are full of holes, fill holes and start painting them.
11. Build new fascia for above the doors as the old one would prevent the hinged doors opening.
12. Fit new handles and magnetic catches.
Aaaarrghghghghghghgh! And to make it worse my planned sea kayaking trip tomorrow looks doomed, not just ‘cos I NOW have painting to do BUT because there is a 35mph breeze forecast and I suspect the Lifeboat people will take a dim view of an amateur paddler in entirely the wrong equipment taking to the ocean!

Captains Log Supplemental: My daughter appears to be wandering round the house singing an ammended version of "My Boomerang won’t come back," her lyrical improvisation of the last verse is rendered as,

"Dad I know the trick and to you I’m going to show it
If you want your plane-ing to be straight, then first you have to mark it!
"

8 Replies to “My week off, by Youthblog bloke”

  1. After you’ve painted the door you’ll realise that the skirting boards are faded. Then having painted them too you will have to decorate the hall stairs and landing, new carpets, refit the kitchen, lay a patio and put in a water feature. Bye bye kayaking for the next few years! Youthworkers should have more wisdom than to try any diy.

  2. *laughing* Paul, I greatly fear you are right. My wife is also asking when I can convert the wardrobes from sliders to hinges.
    A youth work colleague of mine ended up in a much wiser position. His wife has banned him from any household DIY after he glued himself to the floor by mistake 🙂
    But I am going kayaking tomorrow BUT I’m confined to the River

  3. Would that person’s wife not have banned him if he had DELIBERATLEY glued himself to the floor???
    I feel scared as I thought it sounded like what you needed was a nice bench saw to get that bit of wood right… I shouldn’t know things like that!! I blame my woodworking hubby! (who is busy making a Kubb set today!)

  4. Mark, good question (as ever), and I shall ignore the irony of you challenging the need to change suggesting instead ‘same old’ 😉
    But at least for me re-assurance, reasons as follows:
    Couldn’t get hold of new track
    I think the doors are too heavy for it to work properly
    H can’t open them even when they are running

  5. We too struggle with DIY, I have a second hand washing machine (acquired from my neighbor) living in my living room disguised quite cleverly (with material) as an extra side for a plant. Its waiting to be plumbed in and replace the dying washing machine in the kitchen.So your trials have cheered me up!

  6. Now Mr Mac sir, you know I don’t believe in change for change sake 😉 but if, as you suggest, the system was no longer fit for purpose… indeed, again as you suggest, it may never have really been suitable! then of course the only option is to explore different solutions… some of those solutions could in fact be older and simpler and more appropriate to the context!
    Sorry… we’re still talking about door furniture aren’t we 😉

  7. Hello.
    🙂
    “The birth took place at the couple’s home (just outside Oslo),” says the palace, adding mother and baby were both well.
    Bye.

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