A grief observed

Summer this year has been a strange affair and unlike our planned trans-Europe odyssey, involved a lot less physical travelling, It was (and is) instead a major emotional journey.
My mum had been ill for a number of weeks with a virus, but a week before the holidays was hospitalised. It became apparent that her condition was much more serious than originally diagnosed, with Lymphoma as the prime suspect. We cancelled our holiday and were up and down to the hospital in Birmingham while the Doctors ran tests as mum’s condition worsened. We spent the Thursday and Friday up at the hospital and at last had some good news that the type of Lymphoma had been identified and they could begin Chemotherapy the next day. The Consultant was cautious but optimistic that mum was treatable and we returned to Newbury in a much more positive frame of mind.
However at half past six the next morning a phone call came that changed everything, I was needed at the hospital immediately. I arrived at my mother’s bed side two hours later to join my sister and dad, fifteen minutes after she had passed away.
It’s been a tough few weeks. I’m back at work now reflecting on all that has happened and adjusting to the fact that I no longer have a mum.
Grief is a strange companion! it feels like it has a life of its own, it comes and goes seemingly at random. Sometimes it’s strikingly present and sometimes it is bizarrely absent, there is no intermediate stage it appears, but when it does visit it is overwhelmingly tangible.
But there has been good stuff too. Discovering how many lives were touched by my mum, the huge turnout to the funeral, the kindness of both friends and strangers. I also found that writing the Eulogy in a friends house over a dram or three of Glenkinchie was a cathartic and healing experience!
Those of you who knew, thank you so much for your prayers, thoughts and good wishes.

One Reply to “A grief observed”

  1. I felt excatly like that when my aunt died in 2005 but give yourself space and do not be suprised if unconected things bring back memories of your mother. It is hard but the saying time a healer as hard as it may feel right now is very ture but you will still miss her. Can I just add that you will never forget her even now there are time when my aunt comes to the front of my thoughts and she alway will espiecally in things we know they would of enjoyed.Also do not be suprised by your emotions there were times when emotion got the better of me but looking back now it was part of the letting go process and healing.AS CHRISTIANS WE KNOW THAT GOD WILL BE PROTECTING HER. As a friend of mine also said to me consider it as a bonus as there is one angel in heaven to protect us and that a nice thought to end other than to say to you that I shall be praying for you as a family unit.

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