You won’t find Jesus on Myspace

I liked this on re:Jesus! It’s by Jude Simpson and would be be a good discussion starter …….

You won’t find Jesus on Myspace

Jesus doesn’t have a Myspace page.
He doesn’t sit at his personal computer
for hours
making lists
of his favourite lists.
Jesus doesn’t have a Myspace page.
He hasn’t composed a profile
which sums him up in fifty excruciatingly well-chosen words,
making him sound like God’s gift.
Jesus doesn’t have a Myspace page.
and he doesn’t get worked up
at how both Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise
both list him as their number one friend
in the world ever,
or that they schmooze him daily
by email
to try and get him to make them his
number one friend in the world ever
in return.
Jesus isn’t even particularly bothered
that both Madonna and Michael Jackson
have already appropriated “the Messiah” as their MySpace i.d.
Jesus doesn’t have to prove himself electronically.
He doesn’t have a funky alias.
like sinforgiver or waterwalkingdude.
He hasn’t listed his interests
as home brewing,
complementary medicine, and
extreme fishing.
Jesus won’t email you every week
with a “hilarious” new photo
of him wearing a funny outfit,
or a video of his pet goldfish doing synchronised swimming across the sea of Galilee.
Jesus is not the sort of friend who instant-messages you
twice a year to say, “hey we should meet up some time!”
cont ……
See the Re:Jesus page for the rest of this piece

very Richard ideas

While my daughter shares my love of words and of utilising precisely the right term in any given sentence, my youngest boy communicates far more with gesticulation and sound effect in order to add emphasis to his vocabulary.
At lunch today my wife and I happened to use the word ‘flexibility’ and my youngest said excitedly that they’d done ‘that word’ at school and proceeded to define the word using a combination of mime and sound effects. Pursuing his understanding of the subject we asked if he’d learned any other words related to ‘flexibility’. He said there’d been another one (long pause while he retrieved the information from his head), it begain, he said, “with …… Richard”
I was stumped for a few seconds before I realised that the word in question was, rigid!’
I suspect that this will immediately become part of our family folklore with calls for people to be more flexible about things and hence much less Richard!

May the 4th be with you

sabr.gif In the best traditions of corny Star Wars jokes*, ‘May the 4th be with you.’
In the best Anglican traditions**, ‘and also with you.’
Anyway the news:

Soul Net
retreat is back again next year (and I’m thinking of going). It’s at Elveden Forest Centre Parcs from Feb 1st – 4th and all the details are here. Leave a message if you may be up for going.
The National Council for Voluntary Youth Services are doing some research into the JNC in terms of how understood it is and what effect it has. If you would like to contribute then please e-mail me and I’ll forward you the gumph.
Diocesan Stuff: Yellow Braces is now full for girls but there are some boys spaces left. Next Network meeting for employed Youth Workers is June 5th. Vertigo is June 23rd. Also I need a volunteer to write “Youth Work” view for the Diocesan Newspaper this month (thanks).
Via Sarah, the Star Wars orchestra made me laugh 🙂
*Other examples being where the two robots go their separate ways and the question hangs in the air, “Will R2D2 See 3PO again?” and the reasonably funny, “I have felt your presents Luke!”
** Too numerous to mention

Never a teenager

I was training a bunch of youth leaders last week and there was a leader who had never been a teenager! Seriously, he hadn’t. I’m not denying he’d been through adolescence but as he was 85 he was long done with being teen-age before the term teenager was ever used. I mention this for no particular reason other than it amused me. The other funny thing was that he spoke to me at the end of the session to chastise me on my poor spelling, whoops!

Are gherkins really evil?

A brief mention of McDonalds, in a previous post, inevitably meant that the, ‘are gherkins evil?’ debate cropped up again (this is one of those veja du* conversations) and needs addressing. So, with tongue firmly in cheek, a theological reflection:
gherk.jpgThe Gherkin: Several Christians question the presence of the gherkin within the Cheeseburger (or indeed without) and venture as far as seeing it as evil, or at least a post-fall food stuff. The gherkin is of course a small (pickled cucumber) and only mentioned once in the Bible [Numbers 11:5] where it is given as an example as one of the things the Israelites miss about being in bondage in Egypt. Theologically ‘Egypt’ is always a picture of the world (the rescue of the Israelites by God being a picture of our own redemption) and of slavery to the world system. Cucumbers and hence gherkins are therefore theologically rooted in ‘The World’ (in the theological not geographical sense). This would be enough to castigate the gherkin to theologically non-acceptable foodstuffs, however adding in Johns words, “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him” [1 Jon 2:15] then it is clear the gherkin is a non-christian, wordly, forbidden and dangerous vegetable! QED, LOL 🙂
*veja du is the feeling that you’ll probably be there again