Unfortunate Lines from Chorus & Hymns

Laugh6web.jpg A bunch of us were having a discussion yesterday about lines from Hymns/Choruses that had reduced the youth group to hysterics. One youth worker’s group had totally “lost it” during a chorus that called for “a tongue to be put into our mouths!”
Given the capacity of teenagers (and come to think of it youth workers) to spot innuendo ANYWHERE, there must be some good stories out there? Do share a moment via the comments and know that youth workers on three continents will be howling with laughter shortly too.
My favourite story that is one that I’ve never been able to verify but is worth telling anyway. The narrative broadly is that two of the lads from a Church met up regularly on a Sunday afternoon with others to play football. The game didn’t allow much time for getting home, changed and to the evening service. One of the lads had dashed home and being in a rush to shower had slipped, falling out of the shower and bashed his head on the toilet.
Arriving at Church his friend had asked about the obvious bump/mark on his head and heard the details of the mishap. This is where the story would have ended if the First hymn had not contained the line,
Gone throught the curtain, held onto the throne!
at which point they both errupted into uncontrollable laughter. Nice!

16 Replies to “Unfortunate Lines from Chorus & Hymns”

  1. I actually have issues singing most choruses nowdays, due to a troubled childhood I spent way too much time searching for inuendo, and unfortunately there’s way too many of them in christian lyrics…
    I’d be sitting with friends or my youth band and ask questions like “what does it mean when we sing…”
    And the leader would say something like “great, there’s another chorus we can’t sing anymore”
    I’d actually think harder about the inuendo if the song had been sung too much or if I hated playing it…

  2. My favourite of these is actually a hymn and strictly the words are altered slighted but I can’t help but smile everytime. And Can it Be. A great old him contains the verse my chains fell off and I was free and rose went forth and followed thee. Or as I know it. My chain fell off my bike went free I rode went forth into a tree.
    I know it is not holy but it makes me smile

  3. There is a hymn in Mission Praise (!) and the very last line of it says:
    “and the trump of God will resound”.
    I used to be on the floor laughing my head off whenever we sang this! For the life of me, I wish I could remember what hymn it is…anyone know??
    Phil G

  4. As a child of the 80’s we used to sing some old classics in the church we went to. I always wondered why Jesus wanted to make us ‘Vicious Old Men’!?
    Of course it really goes ‘I will make you Fishers of men, if you follow me’.
    Anyone else remember that one ??
    I think we should make a ‘Now THAT’s what I call a worship tune’ Album with some of these old classics on it!!?

  5. Again, a hymn not a ‘chorus’, but “As the deer pants…” has always made me smirk. I wasn’t aware that deer wore them………
    “There is a green hill far away, without a city wall” confused me as a child as I couldn’t understand why a hill, green or otherwise, would have a city wall. I then learnt of alternate meanings of “without” and it suddenly made more sense,

  6. As the dear panteth for the water just conjures wierd image in my head.
    My fav is the one that I mix up the words on and never noticed until my wife heard me singing “angels prostate falls.”

  7. 2 more! The deer pants has alway been known as the Marks and Spencers knickers!
    Also growing up in Norfolk at the end of sunday school we used to sing “into thy loving care into thy KP” I never could understand why we sang about peanuts until I saw the words written down. “Into they loving care into thy keeping”

  8. Some of the trad hymn favourites – A can of beans (and can it be)
    Low in the gravy lay (trad easter hymn)
    Gladly, my cross-eyed bear.
    Best ever typo – “you took all my quilt and shame..”

  9. a weird chorus from my childhood which is obviously deep in theological meaning. not … “touch your finger to your nose, bend from the waist way down and touch your toes, and when come up slowly start to sing, say to the Lord I love you”
    OR our alternative “Stick your finger up your nose, bend from the waist way down and flick your crows and when you come up slowly, taste and see, then say to your friend it’s lovely”

  10. Sometimes it’s more a case of how the song is listed on the order of service:
    “Abba, Father, let me be”
    Or a mishearing:
    Someone asked who “Agad” was, where did he reign, and why were we singing about him? That came from the chorus of “How lovely on the mountains…”
    So that’s another couple to raise a smile the next time they’re dug out of the cupboard and dusted off!

  11. Back in the 1980’s our youth group had progressed to singing the ultra-modern songs of the 1960’s. We had lots of fun with one called ‘I can not come’, the chorus of which went something like this:
    “I can not come!” (dramatic drummy bit)
    “I can not come to the banquet, don’t bother me now.
    I have bought me a wife, I have married me a cow!”
    Oh, how we laughed!
    (PS: Obviously, when written the words ‘married’ and ‘bought’ were the other way around.)
    (PPS: On a similar topic – anyone had any amusing typos in song sheets and service booklets? For years in our church, every communion service we declared that jesus was the ‘Brad of life’!)

  12. Following on from line in christian songs. my wife in all seriousness asked why when we were singing it all together, we sang “Jesus lover of MY soul”, it would be much better to replace ‘MY’ with ‘OUR’. They gave this a go to much hilarity (and wy wife’s embarassment)….think about it

  13. Really there are too many to name… Try singing any hymn and replace eyes with thighs..
    A friend used to think it was “Have a little choclate Jesus” rather than have a little talk with Jesus.
    And the old stand by… from “in the Garden”
    Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me.

  14. endures after that labour is past, and for which an equal quantity of labour body. Labour is there so well rewarded, that a numerous family of children,

  15. An older lady in our choir told us how as young girls. she and her friends would say a hymn title and then say “under the sheets”. They found this to be quite funny and rather spicy, especially as this would have probably been on the 1930’s.

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